Tell me about despair

The email came through this morning from our boss. "More sad news" was the subject line. The news: A co-worker's mom died last night from complications of COVID-19. The sadder news: Her dad died last week from complications of COVID-19.

How does one cope with that sort of loss? Both of your parents moving on within one week?

My goodness.

I've been trying to explain to my 5-year-old that life is unfair sometimes, often. This, sweet daughter, is an example of life being unfair. So unfair.

What's more is that my co-worker knew her parents were sick. Her dad was admitted to the hospital last week with pneumonia, a complication of COVID-19, but she wasn't allowed to go see him. He lives out of state, far enough away, as I understand, that she would have had to fly.

I don't know my co-worker's story; we aren't close. But she's a lovely woman, and my heart breaks for her. I cannot imagine the heartache of knowing my father was critically ill and not being able to go to him, to say goodbye.

Nor can I imagine having to face the same situation with my mom, several days later.

What a hard lot this life is sometimes.

I sent my co-worker an email this morning, and I included this poem by Mary Oliver. It doesn't really address death, and I'm sure it's little comfort to her right now, but it's such a beautiful, raw look at life. I wanted you to see it as well.

"Wild Geese" You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees

for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body

love what it loves.

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.

Meanwhile the world goes on.

Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain

are moving across the landscapes,

over the prairies and the deep trees,

the mountains and the rivers.

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,

are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,

the world offers itself to your imagination,

calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -

over and over announcing your place

in the family of things.